The wonderful citizens of Acirema

Aciremanians are such wonderful people that you cannot help repeating it again and again, most of the times as assurance because you cannot be sure all the time. They live in big families, who mostly avoid each other, in bigger houses, they meet for big dinner and rituals of holding hands to thank the almighty. They keep bigger guns to protect their family and their property –which they proudly proclaim as private and wouldn’t think much before shooting anyone who cross the line. Otherwise they are such wonderful people. Posting videos of hunting and barbecue that is shared, commented and mostly go viral. Hunting wild animals is how they bond with each other. They smear the blood of dead animal on their faces and get themselves photographed for posterity. This becomes happy memories. These memories are further strengthened by gathering around barbecue pouring the elixir called barbecue sauce onto the searing flesh. They wear red caps when they go shopping. They always go shopping. They find meanings in their life through shopping. Life matter to them particularly the unborn. They show utmost concern to fetus. The lump of mass is where they see miracles of living happening. The sight brings in all their emotions. The concern though vanishes the moment the child is born. From here on it is the survival the fittest. Let me remind that they also happen to be one of the most unfit bunch of people inhibiting planet Agam. They are obese easily prone to lifestyle disease as they avoid walking helplessly reliant are they on fossil fuel guzzlers. They arrange mock combat sitting comfortably on big wheels, crushing metals with soft pedal, these are cheered by crowd who witness these inane spectacles with family and friends sharing beer and hotdog. It’s a family outing on weekend. They also go for political rallies. It’s time to protect their religion they say, the leader is their god incarnate, and shout against people with different skin color. They clap and whistle for their leader –a semi-literate charlatan who feeds on their insecurities and offer them their worst memories.        

They extend their enormous adipose clogged hands for the takeaway. They quench their thirst with carbonated sweetened syrup and their hunger with fat dripping servings. They spent more than anyone on planet Agam. They eat more than anyone on planet Agam. They waste more than anyone on planet Agam. In short they are burden to others. But you cannot deny that they are wonderful people. They give such wonderful impressions of wonderful beings that they are when they keep their guns away to discuss in TV channels. They use such persuasive skills with opportune use of words that some calls these high form of art. They are therefore artists. They coordinate their tone with wonderful expressions. Their eyes can sometimes move out and create its own context while they speak. They hold the view that everything that exist in planet Agam exist for their pleasure. The mountain, the forest, the river, the trees, are all god’s gift that is presented to them to be exploited. Greed and wanton consumption is a system that god created for their comfort. Anything that contradicts their lifestyle is a conspiracy, a hoax, fake news. They are incapable to understand logic and have long since lost the ability for critical thinking, surprisingly these were never impediment to material acquisitions. They concluded this to be blessing, and that they were specially chosen to rule over the world. Their liberty and freedom extended to all countries across the planet. Aciremanians use them for target practice, new methods of warfare like nuclear bombs, agent orange, drone attacks so on are tried and tested. To be fair countries across the planet Agam are smaller versions of Acirema and given a chance would enthusiastically emulate. Wonderful citizens of Acirema are role models.