Specie zero

The probability that I am alive depends upon whether I am noticed. This act of observation makes reality fundamentally different than everything else in the universe. Even the universe doesn’t know what is real until someone observes. Observation makes life distinguish itself from inanimate. It is late noon in the seething Indian summer of the malabar coast, the steely sky is merciless without any clouds. The humid stillness is accentuated by the harsh calls of rufous treepie perched on the bright yellow cascade of cassia. A long deep snort of snowy crystal meth crease stew the brain. Intuition thinking is woefully limited to take the abstraction of life’s challenges. It’s a myth spread by well-meaning doctors that dopamine can cause insignificant things to take to an unwarranted significance. On the contrary it is the significance of insignificant that really matters. In this realm hallucination is awakening from the mundane. It is questioning the reality as we know it. I am looking at myself. I am made up of atoms. 65% of me is Oxygen. 18.5% Carbon. 9.5%Hydrogen. 3.2%Nitrogen. 1.5%Calicum. 1%Phosphorus. 19more essential elements found in traces tangle with these star dust into molecules to give me life at this particular coordinates in spacetime. Scattered light from the sun lit the electrical impulse through dendrites that fuel the most complex structure in the universe the brain. I am appropriation of spinning particles on a spinning planet that is spinning around a star in a spinning galaxy in an ever expanding cosmos. The dopamine hit the highest note. It better, I had paid a ransom. Unlike cocaine it has a longer rush and highest high. I observe myself get up from the cot, open the door, and the probability wave collapse to pinpoint me on the middle of the street and the coffee shop. I am at two places. Our intuitions have evolved in the classical world. What is the cause and what is the effect is difficult to know when it is dependent on observer’s viewpoint. I immediately accept this as the new normal. I embrace multiple possibilities. I can see myself here and there. Me and anti-Me.

Me: The streets are empty. It seems a higher intelligence was guiding the course of action. People only went out when there was any need otherwise they spent much of their time to improve themselves. They avoided unnecessary crowds in street corners and small talks in the shops. They read thought provoking ideas, watch caring shows and generally were considerate to each other. They used resources with much care. Mostly they sat in the balcony silently watching the passing birds, listening to the breeze caressing the fronds and occasionally dropping crumbs to howling stray dogs. The streets had more animals than humans. Street dogs, feral cats, abandoned cows, donkeys, squirrels, monkeys so on congregated and moved around in leisure while humans gave wide space to these as if resigned to their fate or else they were waiting for a calamity which they sense was just about to strike. On the outskirts of the city wild elephants, leopards and tigers had taken back much of the encroached habitat. Humans here have locked themselves in apartments and housing colonies barricading themselves against the wild. Groceries were distributed once in a month through the agency as people hid behind masks and gloves. All that humans had subjugated and destroyed was freeing itself and rejuvenating. The air was much fresher, water sparkling in its flow and earth calmer. 

I observe Me working his way through the empty streets in amazement. There at the city junction which used to teem with humans few days back had a recently constructed shelter. It was more of a cyclopean primitive structure that seem like haphazardly conceived. Me peered in. It took him few moments to adjust his mote filled eyes to the darkness. Inside there was something that didn’t look like a human but was dressed like one in jungle boots. It was rotund with many eyes and hands like many limbed giant football on two legs. It looked at Me in amusement. No human ever ventured to be near it.

“Hello why don’t you come in” it said, waving all its hands in a gesture of invitation.

“Sure, why not” Me was already inside the squalid makeshift dwelling.

“Haven’t seen you before? Are you a mutant? An alien…maybe” Me let it be tentative. He had good sense to realize what may hurt someone’s sensibilities that too when one wasn’t sure what it is, importantly, what kind of reaction was anticipated.  

“Strange that you don’t know about us” It held an amused expression as if it is what defined its existence. “We are virus. We have taken over the city. This city is now in our control” It relished to Me “We intend to dominate the planet”.

“No wonder humans have suddenly acquired objective sense about themselves and their vulnerabilities. I was wondering…” Me mused loudly.

“That is not our concern” It was pleased to elaborate. Me noticed it had winsome personality and could latch on to anyone with minimal effort. “But yes if you find better selves it may be good for you. But I doubt it. Humans are too self-obsessed in their fictions to have any sense of reality. You lost the evolutionary game when you shifted from hunter gatherers to agriculture. Some of you did develop your intellect and helped the progress of sapiens but individually and physically most of you are weak”. 

“But collectively we are strong” Me asserted.

“That is surely what we want. For you to be together. We spread well in crowd”. It smiled. “Your strength is your weakness”. Me didn’t like the tone of the virus. It was menacing and mocking.    

“Also, you never really had any sense of collective. With all kinds of divisions from nations to religions to what not you were already doomed. You survive on fantastic fictions. We viruses are always viruses. There is no mistake in our identity. Humans know that too very well. There is no confusion here”. It smiled and all its eyes rolled over. It raised its suction pad like hands for Me to clasp, to share the delight and spread itself. Me didn’t move. It was disappointed but didn’t show and continued “Fiction will fix you anyway. If pandemic doesn’t climate change will deal with you. You are too many and with all fancy notions of omnipotence. A burden on the planet. You really cannot handle the reality. You are incapacitated to sense. Fiction will fix you. We know your weakness” It snarled “Mark my word fiction will fix you”. And with that it sneezed and self-destruct into pieces like a radicalized suicide bomber in a crowd. Smaller versions of it slithered out from splattered mucous and moved towards Me to infect. Me ran.  

Anti-me: The coffee shop wasn’t a coffee shop. It was some kind of religious site. Anti-me found himself in the midst of people in fancy dress. They wore long rug in yellow and saffron. They jostled to pray and bow towards mysterious garlanded monoliths without any shape or contour that were arranged in semi-circle. A woman held a lighted lamp and oscillated a metal bell to create earth shattering noise. Meanwhile few hung around in the sidelines praising the whole scene, writing commentary and recording for posterity. The virus was on prowl and these were fertile hunting grounds. An elderly man with grimy thread around his belly gyrated on the stage, some called him prophet while others son of the god. He is son of a virgin hence a pure soul, they said. “Lord is our savior” he said “There is nothing virus can do to us”. He raised his voice while his body trembled in frenzy, others echoed him “We are all protected by the ring of faith. We cover ourself with the blood of lord. Faith in our lord give us the immunity. We must hug each other and thank the lord. It will kill the satan”. They hug and they kissed, and spread the word of the god. In between they did some orchestrated acts meant to show reverence to their creator. They arranged in rows and did their scripted moves as if remote controlled by an imaginary leash. Some moved around dressed as post boxes to remind nuances of modesty to lecherous among them. It was a pitiable sight but some people on the sidelines cheered these and excitedly broadcast to the world as expressions of freedom that humanity must cherish. “These people have wisdom that is beyond our understanding hence they are different from us” “They look like human being but must be some superior race” some postulated. Every insane acts was concocted into compelling stories of miracle and drilled deep into the recess of mind. They distributed miracle books which was meant to reveal the marvel of creator to the select few who followed these orchestrated moves diligently. One young fellow with unkempt beard wearing rainbow colored skull cap clutched Anti-me in a maniacal grip and shouted into his ears “Do you want to be saved?”

“No” shouted Anti-me back to no one in particular.

He pursued him despite his disinterest “My god will save you. You want protection from virus?” he didn’t wait for the reply and grabbed his shoulders “Close your eyes imagine there is no virus. Submit to god”.

“That is difficult to imagine” retorted Anti-me.

“Sure it is. That is why you need to believe. Life becomes easier if you have belief”.

“Life is easier if you face the reality”

“It helps when god is watching you. The will of god will bless you. You will be blessed”

“I don’t want to be blessed”

“Reality will kill you” he said.

“If you look away from reality anything can happen, anything justified" Anti-me was exasperated "God is a fiction. Fiction will kill you" 

“That is blasphemy” he shouted at the top of his voice. The commune froze. “Kill him” the elderly fellow with grimy thread, the son of god, yelled “We need a sacrifice or tragedy will befall on us”. They moved towards Anti-me in unison. They coalesced into a virus that grew bigger and bigger with longer tentacles. Anti-me ran.  

Me and Anti-me ran onto each other at the street corner in front of Indian coffee house. They collide. There is a blinding flash of light. They annihilate one another. I am being created from this high improbability.